9 months ago I was “relocated”
from the retirement village I’d lived in for only 5 months. My dog, Jordie, had
been on the lease at the start, but she was kicked out after 4.5 months… why??
I moved into Eagleby, a fairly decent (albeit not the best) unit underneath a
house where Jordie could definitely be… until, 9 months later, I had found out
that the unit was “illegal”. The owner had never got approval from the city
council. I had to move. Again. Why??
I wrote a post about this on 25th August, and again on 1st
September.
The first day I looked at a
one-bedroomed unit, same price as I was paying, but I didn’t know for certain
that they would accept Jordie. Two days later I turned away from it, even
though I had filled in an application. I had no idea where would accept Jordie,
I couldn’t move without her.
I looked at 6 other units in as
many suburbs, ranging from $230 up to $260. I couldn’t afford an increase of
$30 a week. Even those which didn’t mention pets on their ads told me that they
couldn’t accept “them” – meaning a
dog as big as Jordie. I looked at an NRAS unit, $10 a week less than what I was
paying but two staircases to get up to it (no elevators) and NO pets. I had
four more units on my list - until I received a phone call from the agent: my
dog was accepted!!
I felt shock. This was the first
place I had looked at, which I had walked away from. It was one-bedroomed, but
the back yard – small – was fenced and they
would accept Jordie. That same day I received another phone call – the two-bedroomed unit I had looked at – which
was $30 more a week than I pay now – said that the owner would accept Jordie!
OMG! One bedrooms, she was accepted. Two bedrooms, she was accepted. I had to
consider the costs. I had to, also, consider if I could fit into one bedroom.
Last night took so much thought.
The three units. One bedroom, same rent, Jordie allowed. Two bedrooms, more
expensive, Jordie allowed. Two bedrooms, a beautiful balcony looking over a
paddock with horses in it, but two staircases up and Jordie not allowed. In the
end, the cost of where I would go and the acceptance of Jordie, were the main
things I had to think about. This morning I accepted the one bedroom.
I told the agent that I wanted
two weeks rent free (I had already stopped paying) and the owner to pay for
removalists to shift me. She’s talking to him, but I don’t think he could
refuse. I would take him to QCAT, if I needed to. I don’t have enough cash in
the bank to move myself. I don’t need
to move myself. I didn’t ask to move. I didn’t ask for higher rents, but I am
accepting a unit smaller than where I am right now, because they accept Jordie.
I don’t know how longer she will live – she’s 15 years old, she had arthritis
in her front shoulders and hip dysplasia in her back hips – but our celebration
is on 17 February 2018. I will have had her for 10 years since I adopted her
from RSPCA. She will be 16. I absolutely count on that celebration, so Jordie must come with me.
Relocation can cause depression. Compare My Move said “There will be an unsettling
period of disequilibrium and with that can come a certain (normal) level of
anxiety.” I think I suffer a bit more than “normal” anxiety. My Moving Reviews said “It is believed that the
toughest stage of a move is the tricky period of dealing with a post-move
phenomenon known as relocation depression.” The problem is I’ve been
through this before. This time is again.
One guy in NY Times said that “he moves a
lot because he is always looking for a better deal, a better space, a better
neighborhood.” I know about that. Except I seem to be moving downhill.
Quotes for Removals in UK said there are five main common emotions when
shifting: regret, anxiety, loss, sadness, fear. I understand each of those: I
feel each of them. Domain Aus said “It is
one of the most disruptive, stressful and chaotic of life experiences. It can
also be really expensive.” I know all about that, especially when relocations have not been my choice.
A blog, posted on Arrohome talked about how to make your “new” home feel good: grab
some houseplants, fill the house with food, try to add something, and warm the
house with friendly faces. The first three I could do… the fourth one isn’t
something I could do. I’ve lost friends since my aneurysm and stroke. I don’t really
know how or when.
So many websites which talk about
getting used to relocating. I had Googled “feeling about moving homes in Australia”
and found far too few responses which I could relate to me. I needed a response from Beyond Blue, or
Mad Dog, or any other support group. I added a word – “depression” to the
Google search: “feeling about moving homes in australia depression”. Beyond Blue ran an online forum about moving house anxiety. R U Ok said “there are changes in the social supports
that we’re receiving and the connections we have with people in our lives. It
can occur suddenly … through a sudden relocation.” I know that. They also
said that I should “seek the support of
others. Reach out to say you need some help.” I don’t even know how to do
that any more.
So I am getting myself relocated,
with no help from “friends” or even “family”, because I have no idea any more
how or where I fit in with them. I live alone. With my BFF dog, Jordie. I am
moving into a one bedroomed unit the weekend after next.
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