Saturday, September 2, 2017

I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

Many years ago I fell in love with the U2 album The Joshua Tree. The title of this blog post is a song from Joshua Tree. That album was produced in 1987, and the song had words that I relate to; not relating to ‘love’, but to how I felt.

I have run, I have crawled, I have scaled these city walls

That was me. That was how I had felt, although by 1987 I couldn’t have told anyone about what had happened to me years before. I had blocked that memory. So this song was something I related to. Nowadays it’s still the same. “It was warm in the night, I was cold as a stone.” So cold. Alone. And what is happening? I know it. Do you?

My last post was about how I have suffered – again – over a rental. This unit I am presently living in is illegal. I can’t stay here. I’ve been looking for a decent unit which will take Jordie, and I have so far looked at 7 or 8, applied for 3. I turned one down because it was my reaction to what I had found out, but it wasn’t really good – and I don’t think they took dogs. I’m waiting for any response from 2 more. The one I went to see last Thursday – a week after I had found out about my unit being illegal – seems a perfect place for me and Jord. But the one I saw a week before that is not letting me know. Yes, I saw the notice saying ‘No pets’, but Jord is NOT a ‘pet’ – she’s my BFF, I need her!

I’ve been into more other units which I can’t apply for. Most of them aren’t ‘good’. Most of them say no pets. They don’t say that in the ads – they only say that on their sign at the gate. I’ve been to Eagleby, Beenleigh, Marsden, Slacks Creek (OMG, NO!!) and Waterford, and thought about Shailer Park, but it’s too far away from the rail station which I need. The two I’m waiting for are from Eagleby and Beenleigh. They would be around 1km from the rail station and supermarkets, so I can walk every day. And Jord can be there! She only needs a toilet, and the back yards are small but private. Perfect for her. She doesn’t need to walk – she can’t. Sometimes I’ll take her for a drive, and she won’t walk but she loves the drive. If I want to walk I can take her in her pushchair.

How many more units do I have to look at? I keep looking through the rentals ads, find a unit which looks perfect for me and Jord – and at the bottom it says ‘no pets’. Or it never says that until I go there and have a look at them. Frustrating!!

This morning I went to look at a place which – inside – looks lovely, but outside is disaster. Even the gate into the yard is by walking across the front house lawn – which would be very muddy after rain. Nowhere to park. Is that unit legal?? If it is, mine should be!

How much more do I have to do? How long do I still have? Do I just get an ‘approval’ from Bond Loans so I know I could have a bond, or do I wait until I find out about any of them? Do I get to save any funds? I know that doing this looking is running me broke – yet all these costs should be on the owner of the property where I am living – which is illegal. So feeling hurt, upset, frustrated… angry.

“…all the colours will bleed into one, but yes, I'm still running.”

Homeless doesn’t look at all good.

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