I
am now depressed. That’s now normal for me. It will last for me for a day or
two, when I will get happy again. Why? I have a brain injury. Can I tell
anyone? Would they believe me? I am tired of existing in other people’s world.
Do I have to carry my medical report every day, get them to read it? It’s six
years old, it’s 8 pages… I don’t think anyone would read it. Do I tell them I
had a stroke six years ago? Does everyone believe that I would have recovered
from that by now?
Do you understand how I
feel every day when I am fighting to stay within your world??
Most
of my life I spent living with other people. Now I live entirely alone:
sometimes I love it – yet other times I can’t deal with it. I just crawl into
my bed, no matter how early, and play Sudoko until I drift off to sleep.
Synapse
has a very good article titled “When they
don’t believe you have a brain injury”. This is many people I have met
after brain aneurysm, after stroke with brain injury like me. This is ME.
Please read this and understand me.
Brainline
has a very good article titled “Lost
& Found: What brain injury survivors want you to know”. This is many
people who now work in a different place than they did before their injury,
before their stroke like me. This is ME. Please read this and understand me.
They also wrote an article about life with brain injury back in 2010 and
reviewed it in 2018 - read it, maybe there’s info in this for you:
ABI
and TBI are the same over the world. Google anything with ABI, TBI, brain
injury or stroke in it. There are so many websites available about anything to
do with these issues if you will read.
I
found this saying in a website I read recently, but – my problem - I’ve
forgotten where I saw it! My life will never be the same as previously. It has
taken me four years to accept this, but I still don’t like it, I don’t like how
I am now living, I don’t like that I can’t return to a full-time job.
Sometimes
I live good… sometimes very good. Yet
a small, non-consequential event can take me down. Most times nowadays is not
where I used to be two years ago, but it’s lower than I may have been
yesterday.
Read
the Better Health site or the Queensland Government Health site on what causes
ABI. Better
Health says: “An ABI can affect intimate
relationships, friendships, social networks, recreational and vocational
activities. It may force the person and their immediate family to adapt to a
completely new way of life and new kinds of relationships.” If your family
member / friend / workmate is recovering, this might be what from. Queensland
Health says that “[i]mpairments can be
either temporary or permanent.” It’s up to you to understand that.
Read the Brain Foundation site on what causes brain aneurysms. They say that cerebral aneurysms are “a common disorder… present in probably 2% or more of adults…” yet
few people even know about them.
Read the Stroke Foundation website of what causes a stroke. They note what causes strokes: “Blood
may be interrupted or stop moving through an artery, because the artery is
blocked (ischaemic stroke) or bursts (haemorrhagic stroke). When brain cells do
not get enough oxygen or nutrients, they die. The area of brain damage is
called a cerebral infarct.” Have you ever seen anyone who has suffered from
this? Maybe it was your family member, your friend, your workmate.
These are
a very small number of websites which you can read if you Google, but they will
help you to understand.
My
brain aneurysm and stroke happened on 22 April 2014. That’s 6 years ago and I
am not – and will never be – back to where I was before all that happened. I am
now depressed. That’s normal. I will get happy again in a couple of days. Why? Because
I have a brain injury.
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