Depression exists...

Depression is life threatening. WebMD describes depression as feeling “sad, lonely, or depressed at times”, and “a normal reaction to loss, life's struggles, or an injured self-esteem”. Yet it tells how depression can take over our lives, becoming “overwhelming, involve physical symptoms, and last for long periods of time”. The Australian Blue Pages Depression Information says that it can keep you from leading a normal, active life, running you down, driving you to fatigue, leading you to thoughts of suicide.

 

I know this. In April 2014 I had a brain aneurysm operation which followed with a stroke which has debilitated me. I live alone, and sometimes with no contact from my family and friends, no visits, my depression takes over me. I shut myself in my home, I don’t know what I could do, I cry, I sleep. WebMD said that I could lose “interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable”. It said that I could have “overeating or appetite loss”. I knew all this, but I didn’t know what was happened to me. All I understood was that my emotion dived.

For the last 6 months I have been the administrator for Brain AneurysmSupport Australia (BASA) on Facebook. Sometimes this has been my real world. I Google information on BA’s, post so much stuff on BASA, every day. Even when I felt very depressed keeping up the BASA site just kept me alive.

And my dog needed me. I couldn’t kill myself if she was still alive. She is 13 years old, has OCD (Osteochondritis Dissecans) which is fairly common in the shoulders of larger dogs, and she has a real obvious limp. When I got to the real bottom of my depression I wouldn’t even take her out for a walk, convincing myself that she had problems with her shoulders and couldn’t walk.

My depression goes up and down, and recently the bottom was the biggest problem. Being alone seemed to keep me alive because my dog didn’t have anyone else to live with her. But I know that, if I had really wanted to commit suicide, being alone would work for me. No-one could stop me.

My mind doesn’t work anymore the way that it used to. After my brain aneurysm, after I found out I had a stroke in my left frontal lobe which affected my language, took a long time for me to understand that I no longer have my good intelligence. Do you know what Mensa is? 40 years ago I’d tested for it and got in. My intelligence score got me into 1%. I was even close to Albert Einstein (he was estimated at more than 190). After that test I didn’t tell anyone. I have always had my certificate and my Mensa t-shirt, but I did that test just for me. I have always thought very fast, spoken well, understood most things I looked into. Now I don’t. Now my stroke affected my language and my memory. I was never “successful” (read my history, if you are interested), but I did so many things, went around in circles trying to fit in with people.

I danced Israeli folk dances. I worked backstage in the theatre. I learned how to set up and run a small café. I read. I wrote. I drew. I rode motorbikes. I played chess. I learned how to create website way back when the internet was first introduced. I did woodcraft stuff – I still have my own chess table which I made. I took my kids to ice skating and planned end-of-year shows, even with the ice hockey kids. I swam, went to gyms, went on treadmills, lifted weights, loved Body Combat.

And I never left New Zealand, until 10 years ago. I came here after meeting my second husband, honeymooned in Brisbane, and fell in love with the place with such a better temperature than NZ. I had brought many of my dreams over here. I read. I wrote. I drew. I rode motorbikes. I played chess. I created websites. I swam, went to gyms, went on treadmills, lifted weights, loved Body Combat. How different was this?

So many of my dreams have now fallen away. After my husband began to act differently I gave up riding my motorbikes. I no longer played chess. I gave up gyms. After my brain aneurysm operation I have backed away from books, and I no longer write as much as I used to. These days my only real dream is to run my own two websites and three blogs, but so often I just can’t say anything which seems important to me.

Yesterday I took on something which I truly hope will run my depression out of my body. I have applied for a Diploma of Web Development. I already know so much that I will do on this course, but this course will give me a certificate. It is only here, in Australia, that I feel uneducated. It took me two and a half years in my last job to get my Graduate Diploma of Occupational Health & Safety, but I know, now, that I can’t work that. I had done WHS for 7 years, but now I realise that I can’t remember much of the stuff I learned. So now I am going to get a new qualification, and I will be marketing my websites, designed for other people. Yes, I know I can do this.

My depression is real, not just something that I think about when I go downhill. For me, it was caused by the brain aneurysm operation and subsequent stroke, and that is so unfair for me. WebMD says that treatment can include medicines (antidepressants) and psychotherapy. The rules in Australia only allow a person to see their psychotherapist for 10 sessions, and very recently I finished with mine, so I can’t get help, but I am on my way up and I understand what happened. Now, if I can keep myself busy, if I can talk to other people instead of shutting myself into my home alone, I might just stay alive.

Have a wonderful life yourself.

Countdown to going down...

Who reading this was alive 50 years ago, with a world population only 3.086 billion? Who is only young, happy with their life now within a world population of 7.207 billion? 

Not me. Just not.

I had a lovely youth in my country (New Zealand). I was born in 1956, and our population was only around 2.3 million at that time, only three and a half times less than Aussie. NZ has now doubled, to just over 4 million. Not at all bad.

Australia, however, has grown like the rest of the growing world – not too far behind other certain Western countries such as German, France, Canada, Italy, Spain, UK and USA. Australia was 8.2 million in the 50s, but has increased now up to 21.9 million. Three times population more in Australia, and more than five and a half population larger than NZ.  Too much.

So what is Australia doing to control this? Other, of course, than holding their boat refugees in very wrong refugee camps on Nauru.

When LNP won the election 2 years ago they had spent a long time flouncing Julia Gillard, calling her anything they wished to do so. There were no complaints in newspapers, no court cases for Gillard, no apologies. Abbott, Hockey, Brandis, Pyne, Morrison, Bishop et al just simply ignored… everyone.

Looking at the LNP budget this year is so pitiful, it should be dumped. Yet I don’t ever expect them to take this sort of action. LNP seems to be agreeing with population growth. Far too many people have come here and applied for and got citizenship, but so many of them are not NZers, not Arabics, not Muslims. Not rich. Not workers. Many own companies which are not even based in Australia – and they don’t even pay tax. They are happy to employ a 457, but would not employ any person on Centrelink unemployment.

Recent reports on ABC talked about how much plastic ends up in the ocean and kills fish and mammals. So very sad, yet so many of the 7.207 billion population just don’t seem to care. Anyone who says they will help to clean it up must be a God, yet their help is too little.

Within every country trees are continuing to be cut down, ruining the air in those areas…. and spreading to the rest of the world. Anyone who protests about this should get an award, yet their help is too little.

Climate change is essential to reduce the climate problems throughout this populated world. Anyone who will plant trees and care for their environmental should be supported, yet their help is too little.

The EU in 2011completed a survey to what people considered to be primary challenges. These were:

#9 Proliferation of nuclear weapons

#8 Armed conflict

#7 Spread of infectious disease

#6 The increasing global population

#5 Availability of energy

#4 International terrorism

#3 The economic situation

#2 Climate change, and

#1 Poverty, hunger and lack of drinking water

There was a #10 – but no-one knew what to say!

Global Issues reported that 21,000 children die every single day in the world, and this tragedy would very rarely meet headlines. This site also reported that half of the world’s population, more than 3 billion people, live on less than $2.50 each day.

That will never happen to Australia. At least, not right now.

So what will the LNP do for Australia? Can the LNP do anything for Australia? What can it do, or will it do? Will this government help out unemployed people, youth and oldies? Will this government support the climate change so that this growing population will not, in the future, worry about floods, rain, dryness, high temperatures, too much power, very expensive houses? Will this government take from the rich and give to the poor? I really doubt this.

Abbott, Hockey, Brandis, Pyne, Morrison, Bishop et al just simply ignored… everyone.

50 years ago New Zealand was a wonderful country, with excellent neighbourhoods, small shops, safety, great driving, great… well, great living. Aussie might already have been like that. But now NZ hasn’t grown as much as Aussie. 10 years ago, when I moved here, I loved Brisbane. I didn’t see any changes. More fool me. These changes are just coming far too fast.

These days I can’t move back to NZ, even if I wish to. I no longer have a family apart from my daughter here in Brisbane, and I have a health issue which hangs around with me. They are holding me here, and I don’t like it. This world population is growing far too fast, and this planet is headed for “The End”. If you  don’t like this planet ending, change where we are going!

Otherwise, reader, kiss your arse goodbye.

11 years...

I lost my husband 30 months ago. He chose to leave me in January 2013, 9 years after we were married, just 6 months before I was CT’d with my brain aneurysm. Two months later I lost my job, terminated after 7 years with my employer, just 2 months after I was CT’d with my brain aneurysm. Neither my husband nor my employer gave me excuses as to why I was cut off. I have found out that these sort of circumstances can destroy how you live, who you live with, how you can or can’t accept your life.

Perhaps some others would agree with this, most would not as they have never been in this kind of situation. If you have never been somewhere like that, I can guarantee that you will not understand without talking to someone like me. I know, at that time, I dropped very, very low. Sometimes, in my now-brain, I have very lows and some very highs. Sometimes I simply don’t understand my short history.

Last year, 13.5 months ago, I had my brain operation and a stroke. Twelve months ago I came out of hospital. I can’t work any longer as my brain just won’t function as it had, normally, when I was married and worked. My income dropped to zero until I ended up on the Centrelink DSP, half from Australia and half from New Zealand. That is less than half that I was working for.

When my husband left me I entered into a mourning period. I tried to understand why he chose that, why he wanted to move back to New Zealand without me, why his children had talked him into that. I had never had a real relationship with his kids. In Hamilton, New Zealand, before we moved to Australia, we would drive down to their homes in New Plymouth. They would occasionally come up to Hamilton to visit us, but they kept a distance between them and me, and them and my daughter. After we moved to Brisbane they came over to visit us – paid for by us – and showed that they didn’t really care for me. I couldn’t really like them. Who likes people who don’t like you?

My husband moved back to New Zealand a year after he left me. I found out that he had talked with my employer, something which he should not ever have been able to do. He was very much in debt, and yet he told my employer that I had a “big” debt. I was, of course, a woman. He didn’t consider that a woman should have any debt. Mine was less than half of his. I was aware that I had lost a lot – an awful lot - of property and funds due to his debt.

I had taken my employer to Unfair Dismissal and they paid me a very small amount. The lawyer had asked them for a reasonable amount, but they cut it. I was convinced that $15,000 was taken by them to pay for my Graduation Diploma of Occupation Health and Safety. I had no income, and I drew my small superannuation which has now gone. I was paying my bills at this time when I could afford them. I was still in debt when I went into hospital for my brain aneurysm operation.

Only 2 days before I had been terminated, I had lodged a claim with Q-Comp because my employer really hurt me. Q-Comp turned me down, I appealed. They sent me to a psychologist who agreed with me. Q-Comp turned me down again. I went into hospital before I was able to fight them legally, and my lawyer dropped me. Six months later I found out that I still had an opportunity to legally fight them, and it took me 6 months again to do that. I am still waiting for the decision from there, still waiting for my income, still waiting to be able to pay off my debt.

Just before I’d gone into hospital I had sent my first book to a publisher. This was accepted, even when I told them after I got out of hospital that I was on a Centrelink income. I expected it to be published somewhere around 8 months. After my operation I was no longer able to work in WHS – or anywhere else - due to my brain injured from the operation and stroke. This kind of situation can really destroy a normal person who is no longer normal. I began my second book on my aneurysm, had to re-read it every night, re-write it, correct my language, do it again. A month ago I contacted the publisher to ask when my first book be published, and they replied very rudely to me, and told me I could take my contract and shove it. I did.

My husband was given a document for divorce which I expect that he would be able to pay for it – get some funds from his kids, perhaps – in New Zealand. It was 3 times less cost than Australia, and I certainly could not have afforded it. I am still waiting.

I had never seen his kids on Facebook – and yet, only two days ago, I saw his daughter responding to my Auckland friend’s post. I found out that she was now a Facebook “friend” with my own friend from 13 years ago; my friend who had come to our wedding, who always treated me well. 13 years after I had met my friend. 11 years after I met my husband. 2 years after he left me.

My personal history is so webbed and bent and fucked, and sometimes I wish, truly wish, that I only had a normal life like most people I have met over my lifetime. Yet people like that, who have never had any problem in their own lives, blame me for my own history. Perhaps I caused a problem with my husband’s kids when they’d very rarely visit but never respond to me; talked my husband into coming to Australia even when he had asked me to come; cost my husband when it rained even though I was working every week; upset my employer when I was CT’d with a brain aneurysm after 7 years even though they did not ever give me any written warning before they terminated me; upset the whole world when I was riding my motorbike because I was (*gasp*) a WOMAN!!

How do I react to this? How do I live? Sometimes I have looked on my past history as only 30 months, back to when my husband chose to leave me, and yet I can go back further than that: further back when my son and his wife took their kids back to New Zealand and cut me off, further back when my husband got knocked off his motorbike, further back than we moved so many times after we had sold our own house, further back before the rain started. Should I blame that rain?

I live alone, with my beautiful adopted American bulldog. She is now 13 and has been with me for 7 years. Dogs live wonderful lives or very, very bad lives. I never thought of humans living their lives like that. Now I know the difference, and yet I don’t know how to get around it. I need to write for an income, but I can’t pay a publisher. Right now I am waiting for a decision, one that I believe is really something I should get, because I can’t work any more. Without a decent decision for me I will still be broke, with no more income. My debts, which have simply sat there, waiting, for the last year, might end up in a bankruptcy court.

So, what will I be doing in a week, two weeks, six months? My life seems to be in 11-year batches. I have figured this out about it. My first 11-year married to my first ex was poor. Second 11-year bringing up my kids on my own was good. Third 11-year married to my second ex was poor. Now I think I have started my next life. It should be good for me.

It has to be.

Lest we forget?

25th April is ANZAC day - Australian and New Zealand Army Corps. This is supposed to be a solemn remembrance of soldiers who fought and died in WW1. On the 25th of April 1915, Australian and New Zealand soldiers joined together to set out to capture the Gallipoli peninsula. Anzac Day was officially named in 1916, and the Australian Army website says: "With the coming of the Second World War, Anzac Day also served to commemorate the lives of Australians who died in that war. The meaning of Anzac Day today includes the remembrance of all Australians killed in military operations." Just Australians?

ANZAC included New Zealanders, who might not have reflected as many soldiers as Australia, but they fought just as well as Australians, they died just as Australians, and Anzac Day is still remembered in New Zealand. In a New Zealand history website they explain that for later wars - WW2 and Vietnam - Anzac soldiers fought together against the enemy. Why don't the Australians remember this?

Australia remembers a military history which no longer has any relevation in current history. Since WW1 and WW2 there has been Korea, VietNam, Papua New Guinea, Gulf War, East Timor, Afghanistan, Iraq and, most current, military intevention against ISIL. Australia has been at the front of the war military, often with no New Zealand, yet they still, every 25th April, remember WW1, Anzac Day, and not New Zealanders.

I was in the New Zealand Army back in the 80s. On Anzac Days I used to go with my troop to local towns and stood as a guard on the memorial. It has been many years since then when I moved over here, yet at the one and only Anzac Day I would attend here I was told at one RFL that I wasn't allowed in that day because I was not "Australian" defence. I don't attend any more.

It winds me up that "Lest we forget" is still used, every year, when Australia is somehow only remembering their own soldiers in WW1. It's now 100 years. Isn't it time to lay it down? There are far too many issues and people in our current life. I have listed a few that I support. Do you?

• Brain Foundation introduces themselves as "a nationally registered charity dedicated to funding world-class research Australia-wide into neurological disorders, brain disease and brain injuries." The Brain Aneurysm Support Australia Facebook page which I admin has set up to try to win some funds for Brain Foundation to do research for aneurysms. There is a video included in this application which tells so much about what an aneurysm is and does. Will you vote for us?
• Indigenous people have been in this country for more than 60,000 years. Quite a few Aboriginals were in the Australian Army in WW1, but they were left behind when the white soldiers came home. Now, the current LNP government is still working against them, trying to get them off their own land in WA. That is absolutely unacceptable! Will you support them?
• There are many domestic violence groups throughout the country, yet LNP has cut funds. If you need to find a group in your own area, try the Google search. There are quite a few listed. Jess Hill in The Monthly noted that so far this year "a woman is murdered at least every week, another hospitalised every three hours." Do we allow this to happen, or do we do something to stop it? 
• Oscar's Law works in Victoria to protect companionable animals. It has supported cases against breeding factories. Their website explained: "The smell of a puppy factory is unforgettable, an overwhelming stench of urine and faeces. The simultaneous barking of hundreds of dogs creates a wall of sound that makes it hard to think, let alone converse." That is so sad that most people should support them! Will you?
• Throughout Australia here are some Blind Guide Dogs and Assistance Dogs, which have proven very helpful to people who do need them. These dogs are complete reversals from the Oscar's Law dogs, so support them because they will certainly be trained to help!
• The Heart Foundation "seeks to strategically drive cardiovascular research and facilitate high quality research into the causes, diagnosis, treatment, management and prevention of cardiovascular disease, including heart disease, stroke and blood vessel disease." Their website is very good, full of information that every person should know about how their heart lives and how they should look after it. Just like the Brain Foundation, the Heart Foundation relates to everyone. Does it relate to you?
• People on the present unemployment benefit usually do look for work. The Statistics Bureau provides monthly reports which show the movements of the rates, and this has increased from 733,000 from February 2014 to 778,000 this year. In the last 5 years this has grown from 614,000, and does not ever look like getting lower. The government needs to increase the benefit. People need to be supported really. The Guardian wrote an article in February this year with very interesting details - have you read it? Do you support unemployed people? Or do you believe that all of these people choose to be unemployed? Perhaps you should be reading reality about this.

It's now April 2015. Many Australians will attend either the dawn parade or the main parade for the Anzac Day. It is, this year, 100 years since the history happened. For me, it was only a year ago when I had brain surgery for my aneurysm, accompanied by a stroke. I am not working now but I am volunteering in an Art Gallery. If you know people who don't work, for whatever the reason, help them. If you have your own dog because you love dogs, if you run to support some of the very large charities for your own or your relative's reason, if you know about Indigenous people, homeless people, refugees, people who are domestically beaten, people whose property has been stolen, people who are alone, so many people in this country who are not supported, help them.

Lest we forget.

Need a job?

I've been following the articles about this government (LNP and Abbott) who seem to despise unemployed
people, whether young or older, label them as dole bludgers and make some terrible plans for the unemployed to "work for the dole" (WFTD). The Department for Employment started its website (https://employment.gov.au/work-dole) with:

"Work for the Dole activities provide eligible job seekers with work experience which helps job seekers to learn new skills and improve their chance of finding a job."

"Dole" became the principle description for unemployed people and unemployment payments. Britain was even paying it back in the early 20th century. Aussie's WFTD was started back in the 1990s.

"Dole" actually means "a person's lot or destiny" (noun) or "distribute shares of something" (verb). The dictionary.com explained the idiom as "They couldn't afford any luxuries while living on the dole." So very real, but still ignored by the government.

What, exactly, is "WFTD"? Wiki describes this as started in 1998, as "one means by which job seekers can satisfy their mutual obligation requirements. Other mutual obligation measures are accredited study, part-time work, Army Reserves and volunteer work" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Work_for_the_Dole). On 1 July 2015 "jobactive" comes into existence. It says that jobactive organisations "will assist eligible job seekers to find and keep a job and ensure employers are receiving candidates that meet their business needs". This is broken down to age groups, meaning that people under the age of 30 still need to WFTD for at least 25 hours a week. Perhaps just sweeping the floors. Those aged 30-49 need to do WFTD for 15 hours a week. 

Those from 50-59 still need to do something, but not WFTD. According to ABC last year, more than 200,000 over 50s are on unemployment benefit, an increase of 45% since 2010. Greens Senator Rachel Siewert said: "I would suggest that that's not just population increasing as our population ages – that there are some employment barriers there that older workers are facing and that they are not being able to re-engage with employment." (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-07-29/older-australians-turning-to-the-dole-new-figures-show/5630552)

A couple of years ago Julia Gillard, the Labor PM, was doing very well to save Australia from the world financial crisis. Australia had low debt compared to many other countries, but we changed when Abbott got into government. Our debt has increased and the debt payment looks to continue to grow in the next 5 years (http://www.theguardian.com/business/grogonomics/2014/jun/09/government-debt-it-all-depends-on-how-you-look-at-it). The government has become determined to get an aggressive TPP and fails to tell everyone what this means. GetUp had info on their website about it, calling it "The dirtiest deal you've never heard of" (https://www.getup.org.au/campaigns/tpp/tpp/the-dirtiest-deal-youve-never-heard-of). Government just don't care, are just as determined to deal with very large companies who seem to get the right to sue this country if their deal is broken.

To make money the government plans to cut the unemployment benefit and to make unacceptable job training which, in my mind, goes against school training. So why are unemployed people supposed to do "training" to "get them ready" for work? Will sweeping a floor help? Will stacking a shelf help? Will working, with no pay, for companies who have signed a TPP, help the unemployed, or will that help these companies or this government to make their money? 

The government has very recently provided a report on the "Unemployment benefits and the minimum wage" (http://www.ncoa.gov.au/report/appendix-vol-1/9-11-unemployment-benefits-minimum-wage.html), which talks about the change to Newstart Allowance, which is nowhere close to current unemployment benefit. It sounds, from this, that if a person is out of work but may not have been unemployed long enough to go broke, they need to support themselves. This seems completely wrong, but doesn't seem to be able to be changed. This may have been passed to, or advertised to, companies who inform immigrants (for instance, https://www.justlanded.com/english/Australia/Australia-Guide/Jobs/Unemployment-Benefit), and seems to be written as for real already when the government website says 1 July 2015. What do we just believe in?

http://www.chermsidedistrict.org.au/chermsidedistrict/01_cms/details.asp?ID=112

In Google, when I searched for some photos to come on here, I found this one. These, most only men, were unemployed in 1930, lining up waiting to be offered a minimum wage.  What has happened in the 85 years since that day? How many times have governments complained about the dole and make changes to how unemployed can WFTD? Has the dole been related to minimum wages or slipped below that - to well under the "poverty" line? How will any parent, with very little of their own income, support people up to the age of 25?

Has anything changed?  

Get on with it!

In February this year I was a year on into my RRV and I had the right to apply for citizenship. My income made this look not available - I had dropped to DSP after my aneurysm and stroke in April 2014, which is less than half what I had earned when I still had a "job". But belonging to OzKiwi, thankful to them for giving me the information which allowed me to apply for - and get - my RRV, now meant I should, at least, apply.

The information about fees is interesting. Most applicants pay a minimum for their citizenship application. Mine, it seems, has a discount for my DSP. I paid that and I certainly hope that it's real.

Completing the application online is hard, for people like me who have lost our own thoughts with our stroke. I had found that out since I'd been released from the hospital, but I didn't really have anyone to help me to apply, but I have finished it and sent it off - and now have to wait!

The citizenship is covered by the Department of Immigration and Border Protection with this site: http://www.citizenship.gov.au/applying/fees_forms_appeals/online_apps/. Even the first page on this website gives a whole lot of links to other pages, which you need to check. The following points might help someone like me, who is applying for citizenship.

• Determine if you are eligible. Many Kiwis, it seems, are not eligible. Australian governments have changed the CER 'rights'. Many years ago Kiwis came here from New Zealand without a required passport, but that law changed to call for passports from everyone. Sometime back in 2001 the visas and citizenship were cut off for Kiwis. Some will never be eligible.
• What documents you need. This, basically, includes identity documents, good character documents and supporting documents. There is a separate link to a document checklist which has further links to
  
  tell you just what you need, including for your children. Perhaps they do this to frustrate every applicant. There is a Form 1195 to have completed and enclosed which requires someone who has known you for at least a couple of years, who already has an Australian passport.
• Start your online citizenship application. This covers two general applications - Form 1300t for the age between 18-59 which seems fairly easy, and Form 1200 which covers 60 years of age and over, or 17 years of age and under. This also covers 18 year old people who have ongoing physical or mental incapacity. It doesn't seem to apply to older people who have ongoing physical or mental incapacity. I believe I have an ongoing mental incapacity which is why I'm on DSP. I applied on this form - I guess I will be eventually confirmed or turned down.
• Continue your saved application. It usually can't be immediately finished so you will need to make a "sign in" log with your own password. The government department will send you an email with your Saved Application ID details. Don't lose your password, or you will need to start again!
• Attach documents to your application. When you have completed your application you might then think about your documents. They have to be sent on after you have paid for and sent your application. You get about 7 days to send them on or you might have to re-do your application. The link within this link has more links to tell you what documents you should attach, how your documents should be attached and what size they should be.
• Check the progress of your application. This is to follow your own application online, but, strangely, doesn't really tell me how long my application will be worked on. I received an email from the Department of Immigration and Border Protection just saying they'd received my documents, but they do not give you a date. I rang them a few weeks later to ask how long and they told me that it might be another 8 weeks. That is not "normal". There is a link to a Client Service Charter, which doesn't really tell you anything - except, maybe, in more links.
• Technical information and accessibility. I just didn't even bother with going into the links for this one. To just open the link on the first page says: "We try to make the online information and systems user-friendly for you regardless of your ability or background, by following worldwide web standards and providing information for you in multiple formats." I think that will take me to all sort of places.  I just felt that putting my application in would give them something to look at...
• Frequent asked questions for 1300t and 1290 online forms. If you have someone who knows anything about some HUGE website, they might just be able to read this. This link takes you to this page: http://www.citizenship.gov.au/applying/fees_forms_appeals/online_apps/faq/ This page has links
  
  to a whole heap of questions, which have further links to other stuff. This, for me, is "phew!!"

If you are a Kiwi, or any other person of source, who is hoping to apply for citizenship here, just remember that using a "guide" will cost you. Lots. If you can have any feelings that you can do this, then DO IT.

I wish everyone who is applying the best of luck.