"Suicide is painless..."

M*A*S*H had an intro song at the start of their program which said "...suicide is painless / it brings on many changes / and I can take or leave it if I please..." This program was set up as a comedy of the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital in the Korea war many years ago. It started in 1972 and went until 1983 and was based on the 1970 film.

In February 1996 the Australian Institute of Criminology printed an information pdf which said "...suicide is a major social and public health problem in Australia. Since1990, suicide has become more common than motor vehicle accidents as a cause of death for Australian men." 

At the beginning of January this year, 2016, Damien Little drove himself and his two very young sons (Koda, 4 and Hunter, 1) off the wharf at Port Lincoln, Eyre Peninsula, South Australia, and into 30 metres of water. It sounded like, from news articles with the family, that in the 2-3 years before this Damien had dropped into mental health problems, but no real change within his mind seemed to stuck with the family. 

Yes, they had noticed “a change”, but “you can't help somebody who can't help himself”, they said. 

The Sydney Morning Herald, SBS, the Australian and Daily Mail in UK  and many others printed articles about this, but they didn't really publish just about suicides. 

Suicide thoughts have entered the minds of far too many throughout Australia. 

• Lifeline, in Hunter, on 30 December 2015, reported the increase of their calls – up to 1,000 per week – just after Christmas. 
• Lifeline’s national website includes statistics.
• Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Suicide Prevention Evaluation Project (ATSISPEP) on ABC on 17 December 2015 said that the season across Christmas and new year often leads to increased suicides.  
• Aboriginal website Creative Spirits said on 29 December 2015 “Appalling living conditions and past traumas have led to a suicide rate that by far exceeds that of non-Aboriginal people.” 
• On 30 November 2015, just 3 weeks before Christmas, 600 refugees in Manu Island signed a letter to PM Turnbull asking him to approve suicide.
• The Australian Psychological Society published “Insight into men’s suicide” in their InPsych magazine in 2012. That information should have been known by people who were thinking of suicide.
• On 29 December in 2011 UniSA chairman of mental health, Nicholas Procter, said “"International evidence indicates there are fewer suicide attempts than expected before Christmas and nearly 40 per cent more than expected after, especially on New Year's Day," and “self harm and suicide were more likely to occur in the new year, but more research about why was needed. 
• Wikipaedia said that “In Australia 48% of all suicides in 2000 were by 35- to 64-year-olds”. In 2013 2,522 suicides were recorded.
• Mindframe reports on “Facts and stats about suicide in Australia” on their website. There is a pdf file to download. 

ABC reported back in June 2015 about the potential to halve the suicide rate in 5 years if Australia used something similar to a recommended European program. Professor Helen Christensen from Black Dog said: "If we can pull together all community and health organisations to deliver evidence-based strategies at the same time, in the same location, then we have a good chance of reducing [suicide] rates in Australia by as much as 30 to 50 per cent, within four to five years." 

The National Coalition for Suicide Prevention started sometime back in 2014 (no date on their website) and has 33 organisations attached. On 3 December 2015 ABC reported: “A private donor will give a massive $14.7 million to fund Australia's first evidence-based suicide prevention programs, to be run by the Black Dog Institute.” Black Dog doesn’t sound like it’s connected to NCSP – will it still be good? 

NCSP, Black Dog Institute and any other suicide contact might be doing a lot of work, but it doesn’t sound like they were involved in Damien Little’s mental health problems. Perhaps they didn’t know about him. These organisations, and others, are the safety zone for any person who thinks suicide. Don’t ever just “notice” a change, especially if it has been going on for 2-3 years. 

Help that person. Call any suicide contact for help. Don’t trigger “Vale” in your own name.

New year...

When I was a kid we celebrated New Year in a different way as they are nowadays celebrated. We didn't have heaps of fireworks. We didn't have a "party". We simply celebrated within our family the calendar changeover from the end of old year to the start of new year. The new year would be the start of how we kids would keep growing - and the end of the Christmas holidays before we got back to school. For mum and dad it was how they would keep on bringing us up.

Have you thought about this? How old are you now? Have you thought about how this "new year" will work for you? Or have you thought about how you will work for it?

Five years ago I wrote a letter to a young couple in my family. They aren't any longer a "couple", and I'm certain that the "domestic" person hadn't followed any suggestions. Where do you want your family to be? Maybe I've taken a risk. I am atheist. I believe that these thoughts are across many different beliefs and can define where we move to in our future.  I don't think this is negative - in fact, it's positive! Use it if you can or will. 

Number 1 – Be Proud.

1. Show it in everything you do.
2. Share roles. 
3. Have pride to make your home a welcoming place for others.
4. Turn the TV off when you have visitors.
5. If you have children they will only learn what you teach them.  They won't respect their rooms or your space unless they see that you do too.
6. Live the way you want them to grow up.  Don't use them as an excuse for being untidy.
7. Dress as well as you can.  Get rid of old clothes, especially the old kids ones which are stained and untidy.
8. Have pride in your appearance and theirs every time you leave the house. 

Number 2 – Respect Each Other. 

1. How you treat each other influences how people treat you.
2. You should never put your partner down in front of your children. 
3. Be aware of how you talk to each other in front of the children, but also in front of other people. 
4. Include words like "please" and "thank you" – the same words you expect children to use. 

Number 3 – Know Your Role. 

1. There are choices about where you fit into your family.  If you have chosen a traditional model, there are traditional needs.
2. The principal breadwinner's role is to go out and earn the income to pay the mortgage/rent and living expenses.   
   
3. The domestic role has a responsibility to provide for and look after your partner and children. It includes major influence on your children during the day on their attitudes as they grow up, and the cooking and cleaning and other inside tasks. 
4. Don't rely on the TV – play with the children, read to them, walk with them.
5. The breadwinner's time when they get home from work is better spent initially with the children. Allow your partner to be a parent.
6. Don't expect your partner to do all the tasks that you didn't get done during the day. 

Number 4 – Manage Your Money. 

1. You have to manage your finances within the limits set by your earning ability.
2. Make a budget and make that a priority throughout the year. Don't put the family's future at risk by dodgy and uncontrolled spending. 
3. If you manage your finances right you will never want for things, because you have budgeted for them.  If you approach it the wrong way you have less opportunity because all your spare cash goes on paying debt.  
4. Don't expect something for nothing. 

Number 5 – Be Grateful. 

1. Don't resent the times your family and friends ask you to help them.  That's what families are for.  They will always be more prepared to help you if you acknowledge their help and offer to help them rather than waiting to be asked. 
2. Your personal family time is very important.

I know that young and old people who live to this sort of thing will live for a positive future. It's for you.

Enjoy your year.