New year...

When I was a kid we celebrated New Year in a different way as they are nowadays celebrated. We didn't have heaps of fireworks. We didn't have a "party". We simply celebrated within our family the calendar changeover from the end of old year to the start of new year. The new year would be the start of how we kids would keep growing - and the end of the Christmas holidays before we got back to school. For mum and dad it was how they would keep on bringing us up.

Have you thought about this? How old are you now? Have you thought about how this "new year" will work for you? Or have you thought about how you will work for it?

Five years ago I wrote a letter to a young couple in my family. They aren't any longer a "couple", and I'm certain that the "domestic" person hadn't followed any suggestions. Where do you want your family to be? Maybe I've taken a risk. I am atheist. I believe that these thoughts are across many different beliefs and can define where we move to in our future.  I don't think this is negative - in fact, it's positive! Use it if you can or will. 

Number 1 – Be Proud.

1. Show it in everything you do.
2. Share roles. 
3. Have pride to make your home a welcoming place for others.
4. Turn the TV off when you have visitors.
5. If you have children they will only learn what you teach them.  They won't respect their rooms or your space unless they see that you do too.
6. Live the way you want them to grow up.  Don't use them as an excuse for being untidy.
7. Dress as well as you can.  Get rid of old clothes, especially the old kids ones which are stained and untidy.
8. Have pride in your appearance and theirs every time you leave the house. 

Number 2 – Respect Each Other. 

1. How you treat each other influences how people treat you.
2. You should never put your partner down in front of your children. 
3. Be aware of how you talk to each other in front of the children, but also in front of other people. 
4. Include words like "please" and "thank you" – the same words you expect children to use. 

Number 3 – Know Your Role. 

1. There are choices about where you fit into your family.  If you have chosen a traditional model, there are traditional needs.
2. The principal breadwinner's role is to go out and earn the income to pay the mortgage/rent and living expenses.   
   
3. The domestic role has a responsibility to provide for and look after your partner and children. It includes major influence on your children during the day on their attitudes as they grow up, and the cooking and cleaning and other inside tasks. 
4. Don't rely on the TV – play with the children, read to them, walk with them.
5. The breadwinner's time when they get home from work is better spent initially with the children. Allow your partner to be a parent.
6. Don't expect your partner to do all the tasks that you didn't get done during the day. 

Number 4 – Manage Your Money. 

1. You have to manage your finances within the limits set by your earning ability.
2. Make a budget and make that a priority throughout the year. Don't put the family's future at risk by dodgy and uncontrolled spending. 
3. If you manage your finances right you will never want for things, because you have budgeted for them.  If you approach it the wrong way you have less opportunity because all your spare cash goes on paying debt.  
4. Don't expect something for nothing. 

Number 5 – Be Grateful. 

1. Don't resent the times your family and friends ask you to help them.  That's what families are for.  They will always be more prepared to help you if you acknowledge their help and offer to help them rather than waiting to be asked. 
2. Your personal family time is very important.

I know that young and old people who live to this sort of thing will live for a positive future. It's for you.

Enjoy your year.