"Suicide is painless..."

M*A*S*H had an intro song at the start of their program which said "...suicide is painless / it brings on many changes / and I can take or leave it if I please..." This program was set up as a comedy of the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital in the Korea war many years ago. It started in 1972 and went until 1983 and was based on the 1970 film.

In February 1996 the Australian Institute of Criminology printed an information pdf which said "...suicide is a major social and public health problem in Australia. Since1990, suicide has become more common than motor vehicle accidents as a cause of death for Australian men." 

At the beginning of January this year, 2016, Damien Little drove himself and his two very young sons (Koda, 4 and Hunter, 1) off the wharf at Port Lincoln, Eyre Peninsula, South Australia, and into 30 metres of water. It sounded like, from news articles with the family, that in the 2-3 years before this Damien had dropped into mental health problems, but no real change within his mind seemed to stuck with the family. 

Yes, they had noticed “a change”, but “you can't help somebody who can't help himself”, they said. 

The Sydney Morning Herald, SBS, the Australian and Daily Mail in UK  and many others printed articles about this, but they didn't really publish just about suicides. 

Suicide thoughts have entered the minds of far too many throughout Australia. 

• Lifeline, in Hunter, on 30 December 2015, reported the increase of their calls – up to 1,000 per week – just after Christmas. 
• Lifeline’s national website includes statistics.
• Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Suicide Prevention Evaluation Project (ATSISPEP) on ABC on 17 December 2015 said that the season across Christmas and new year often leads to increased suicides.  
• Aboriginal website Creative Spirits said on 29 December 2015 “Appalling living conditions and past traumas have led to a suicide rate that by far exceeds that of non-Aboriginal people.” 
• On 30 November 2015, just 3 weeks before Christmas, 600 refugees in Manu Island signed a letter to PM Turnbull asking him to approve suicide.
• The Australian Psychological Society published “Insight into men’s suicide” in their InPsych magazine in 2012. That information should have been known by people who were thinking of suicide.
• On 29 December in 2011 UniSA chairman of mental health, Nicholas Procter, said “"International evidence indicates there are fewer suicide attempts than expected before Christmas and nearly 40 per cent more than expected after, especially on New Year's Day," and “self harm and suicide were more likely to occur in the new year, but more research about why was needed. 
• Wikipaedia said that “In Australia 48% of all suicides in 2000 were by 35- to 64-year-olds”. In 2013 2,522 suicides were recorded.
• Mindframe reports on “Facts and stats about suicide in Australia” on their website. There is a pdf file to download. 

ABC reported back in June 2015 about the potential to halve the suicide rate in 5 years if Australia used something similar to a recommended European program. Professor Helen Christensen from Black Dog said: "If we can pull together all community and health organisations to deliver evidence-based strategies at the same time, in the same location, then we have a good chance of reducing [suicide] rates in Australia by as much as 30 to 50 per cent, within four to five years." 

The National Coalition for Suicide Prevention started sometime back in 2014 (no date on their website) and has 33 organisations attached. On 3 December 2015 ABC reported: “A private donor will give a massive $14.7 million to fund Australia's first evidence-based suicide prevention programs, to be run by the Black Dog Institute.” Black Dog doesn’t sound like it’s connected to NCSP – will it still be good? 

NCSP, Black Dog Institute and any other suicide contact might be doing a lot of work, but it doesn’t sound like they were involved in Damien Little’s mental health problems. Perhaps they didn’t know about him. These organisations, and others, are the safety zone for any person who thinks suicide. Don’t ever just “notice” a change, especially if it has been going on for 2-3 years. 

Help that person. Call any suicide contact for help. Don’t trigger “Vale” in your own name.

New year...

When I was a kid we celebrated New Year in a different way as they are nowadays celebrated. We didn't have heaps of fireworks. We didn't have a "party". We simply celebrated within our family the calendar changeover from the end of old year to the start of new year. The new year would be the start of how we kids would keep growing - and the end of the Christmas holidays before we got back to school. For mum and dad it was how they would keep on bringing us up.

Have you thought about this? How old are you now? Have you thought about how this "new year" will work for you? Or have you thought about how you will work for it?

Five years ago I wrote a letter to a young couple in my family. They aren't any longer a "couple", and I'm certain that the "domestic" person hadn't followed any suggestions. Where do you want your family to be? Maybe I've taken a risk. I am atheist. I believe that these thoughts are across many different beliefs and can define where we move to in our future.  I don't think this is negative - in fact, it's positive! Use it if you can or will. 

Number 1 – Be Proud.

1. Show it in everything you do.
2. Share roles. 
3. Have pride to make your home a welcoming place for others.
4. Turn the TV off when you have visitors.
5. If you have children they will only learn what you teach them.  They won't respect their rooms or your space unless they see that you do too.
6. Live the way you want them to grow up.  Don't use them as an excuse for being untidy.
7. Dress as well as you can.  Get rid of old clothes, especially the old kids ones which are stained and untidy.
8. Have pride in your appearance and theirs every time you leave the house. 

Number 2 – Respect Each Other. 

1. How you treat each other influences how people treat you.
2. You should never put your partner down in front of your children. 
3. Be aware of how you talk to each other in front of the children, but also in front of other people. 
4. Include words like "please" and "thank you" – the same words you expect children to use. 

Number 3 – Know Your Role. 

1. There are choices about where you fit into your family.  If you have chosen a traditional model, there are traditional needs.
2. The principal breadwinner's role is to go out and earn the income to pay the mortgage/rent and living expenses.   
   
3. The domestic role has a responsibility to provide for and look after your partner and children. It includes major influence on your children during the day on their attitudes as they grow up, and the cooking and cleaning and other inside tasks. 
4. Don't rely on the TV – play with the children, read to them, walk with them.
5. The breadwinner's time when they get home from work is better spent initially with the children. Allow your partner to be a parent.
6. Don't expect your partner to do all the tasks that you didn't get done during the day. 

Number 4 – Manage Your Money. 

1. You have to manage your finances within the limits set by your earning ability.
2. Make a budget and make that a priority throughout the year. Don't put the family's future at risk by dodgy and uncontrolled spending. 
3. If you manage your finances right you will never want for things, because you have budgeted for them.  If you approach it the wrong way you have less opportunity because all your spare cash goes on paying debt.  
4. Don't expect something for nothing. 

Number 5 – Be Grateful. 

1. Don't resent the times your family and friends ask you to help them.  That's what families are for.  They will always be more prepared to help you if you acknowledge their help and offer to help them rather than waiting to be asked. 
2. Your personal family time is very important.

I know that young and old people who live to this sort of thing will live for a positive future. It's for you.

Enjoy your year.

Believe it!

A few days ago I had spent a lot of time on Google finding quotes which I wanted to put on my website, with, of course, a picture which I'd added to. I found one from Jesse Jackson, a pastor from the USA, who was born in 1941. This quote said "If my mind can conceive it, if my heart can believe it, I know I can achieve it because I'm somebody!" This was confirmed by Wikiquote as Jesse Jackson. It was included in a speech at Andersen College in Indiana on 4 March 1979.

Trouble was, this quote was assigned by many other quote sites to someone else - Muhammad Ali! Brainy Quotes, where I often find good quotes, had assigned these words to Jackson. Goodreads also had - but then also assigned the same words to Ali. I looked in Wikiquote and couldn't find these words attributed to Ali. 

Try this. Go onto the page of Google and type this in the search: "did Jesse Jackson say If my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it, I know I can achieve it" and press the search button. The first page only lists 5 quote sites (including Goodreads). Then in the Google search, type "did Muhammad Ali say If my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it, I know I can achieve it". For Ali, in Wikiquote, this quote passage is mentioned in the "Misattributed" box, with the name of Jesse Jackson under it. Google listed, on the first page, 8 quote sites (including Goodreads) which attributed this passage to Ali!

This very much surprises me. I have no idea how many different quote sites ever check on who did say whatever they want to print. (Of course, from my previous blogs there are far too many quotes on far too many sites which are ever printed with no name!)

Don't roll your eyes at me. Just take this for real! The internet is f-a-r too big to believe it can be used for good stuff. I, personally, believe it has to change. For instance, in the past few years...

...Facebook has had so many complaints about Facebook pages which abuse children, abuse women, troll everywhere, print unreal "offers", print extremely bad videos - anything which Facebook seem too often to just ignore. I wonder, does FB's profit mean more to them than these kind of pages? 

...so many websites which publish pornography have been simply opened - and never closed down unless some government finds them. Will that sort of stopping them stop others? I really doubt it.

...advertising on any page you choose to be on - say, Facebook or similar - takes over your screen and you don't seem to be able to stop "suggestions" appearing before you move onto where you want to be. This has also happened on so many You Tube videos - with no "avoid" button on ads. Yesterday I wanted to look at a music video and got a 15 second car ad before that. That's something I couldn't click off but I wouldn't watch it, so I didn't watch the music video either.

...the "news" is very brief and doesn't give anyone a reality of whatever happened in the world that day. Too many people just don't even bother to watch "news" - unless it's of their own taste.

So many more issues. So little time to fix them. So much happens across the whole world, and most of my own time these days I just don't want to see anything. I guess I've pretty much made up my mind to live my own life, doing whatever I quietly enjoy - like quotes. I'll just forget the TV and newspapers and just roll on slowly.

Except I will still get really pissed off if quotes don't mention who said them!!!

Hang on... here it comes!!!

I think now that I can't even look at an un-named quote before I do some research. Today one appeared on the TBI Facebook page. It said "Life is all about finding people who are your kind of crazy". That sounded pretty good to me, but no name on this pic as to who they had quoted. So I went into Google and put those words in.

And I have found hundreds of image posts with no name as to who said this! LoveOfLifeQuotes.com was the first image, exactly as the one on the TBI, so I wondered if maybe TBI copied theirs. Then came ElectricFairground.com, LifeIfHappy.com, BrainTreeClothing.com, Flickr.com, 9LOLs.com, Pinterest.com, PictureQuotes.com, BeHappyMe.com, Amazon.com, SomeCards.com, MadisonParkGroup.com, and on and on and on... (no, these ones aren't linked... they're simply a list on this, my blog.)

I went through Google to see if they could tell me just who had said this. I got back as far as 2013 - on 11 June 2013 was Ron Kaisan at Ultimate Campers, there was a comment in Girl's Gone Child blog on the 29 March, and Pinterest was posted on 20 March. I couldn't find anything earlier than this, and no-one said who said it!

I don't like this!!! The person who said this quote should have been acknowledged, and if necessary they should have become famous.

All of those mentioned earlier, and all of those which appear in Google and I haven't put on here, should not just use a quote without saying 'Unknown'!!! Every quote pic on my website will always use a name that I agree with, and if a name is ever not known I will always use "Unknown". I think there's a real discrepancy from anyone who will claim they said something, when it's been posted months or years before they said it. (This happened earlier, previous blog about that...)

Just a tip to any person who talks and allows whatever they say be quoted - tell them your name!

Feeling good!

Yesterday I went to the PACE (Positive Action towards Career Engagement) event in Brisbane central where I was presented with a certificate. And I spoke. I hadn't realise that Steph and I would be the only ones talking!! After Steph spoke about our meetings which she thought went very well, I was asked how the mentoring went on for me. I told everyone how I had started in this program, I explained about my brain aneurysms and my stroke, and told them that Steph has been wonderful, giving me thoughts to think about... as long as I write them down!

I now have a certificate which I feel very proud about. Sounds weird, eh?

I have looked back into my training over so many years. In NZ I did much training in the Army (which resulted in my promotion to Corporal), a Diploma of Management, a Diploma of Business, First Aid, ISO audit, membership of the NZIM (New Zealand Institute of Management) and countless training with groups whose courses were valuable in a workplace. I still have all the certificates. In Australia I started with a Diploma of Workplace Health & Safety which I upgraded to the Graduate Diploma of WHS with 2.5 years training through CQU. I was First Aid trained, RABQSA (audit) trained and certified, QComp trained as a RRTWC (Rehabilitation and Return toWork Coordinator), trained in fire building regulations, NCSA (National Safety Council of Australia) and SIA (Safety Institute of Australia) registered, and much else. I still have all of those certificates too.

I can't do WHS any more. Long story, but it ended up with my stroke which has drawn me backwards from where I was. My history is now a record which I have to look at if I want to remember it. My working doing what I used to do is no longer my real future. The PACE program I went to has bounced me forward, and I feel very grateful to them and Steph. I can move into my own future with my head up. I know I won't be able to get another job - I'm on a DSP and I'm old (59 FPS!!!) but I'm sure you readers know what I do now.

I write.

I have written for so many years, and this is like my history and my future, and I don't need to "remember it". I have written for magazines, written stories, poems, letters, emails, blogs and posts and written through all my training as well as my own time. I have now published my first book and the second one is due very soon. And there's more...

I've done a couple of short stories this year in the "Prose" page on my website. I've joined a local author's group (I am writing a story for their latest book) and I go to their meetings every month.

My website has a "Quotes" page. Almost every day I do the artwork on the sub-pages, so I can see what's

said. I can't remember it, but I can look through it and feel good about what I have done.

I've joined the local poet's group and I've been writing more poetry this year than I had at all last year or the year before that. It mightn't make sense yet - but it will when my brain works.

Laurie Graham said "I've never minded solitude. For a writer, it's a natural condition." Perhaps now, many months after my brain surgery and stroke, I am started to feel pretty good in solitude. My advice? Love your own life if you can. Never mind any people who have upset you or dumped you. Never mind living with what they did to you. Live for yourself.

Have a great day!