Sitting in my blankety blank...

I have no thoughts. This is the third time I tried to start this, but I don't have any thoughts. I'm sitting in my blankety blank... which should encourage me to think, but blankety blank doesn't help! My daughter has been baking. I haven't. Some one changed their sheets. I haven't. A neighbour went out in their car. I haven't. Should I have read? Should I have played PC games? Should I have answered negatively to anything on my FB pages?

What am I missing? 

I thought I should be doing a load of washing. I haven't. I thought I should vacuum. I haven't. I should have mowed my lawn. I haven't. Ihaven'tIhaven'tIhaven't.... 

Some of the lockdowns were lifted from NSW areas, and there were hundreds on the beach. I haven't been to a beach for too long. There are a few cafes available in SEQ, but these days my savings are getting down - actually, they're nearly nothing - so I haven't. I have planned, for ages, to go to a decent restaurant and shout myself... I still haven't. Have I changed? From my normal day-to-day person to an abnormal day-to-day person? What should I be thinking about?

Walking-swimming-enjoying food-loving outlooks-building my attitude-ignoring my routine-getting out in the world! Our lockdowns started in March 2020 - that's 18 months ago, why are we still locked down? Yep, I do know, but after 18 months I have been grinding. And anxious. And frustrated. And scared. And wondering how I can return to NORMAL. 

I can ask if you feel this same way. But I know that you are different. I can ask RU OK? But no-one wants to ask me. I can ask you if you break the law to go out. But I think that maybe I do - like the day I forgot my mask, FFS! Maybe that's why I stay home. In the blankety blank. 

I. Have. To. Think! I. Have. To. Be. Normal! I. Have. To. Stop. Writing. Like. This!