The Decision

Not too long ago I was introduced to a quote which was acknowledged to Asher Roth:

“Do your thing. Do it unapologetically. Don’t be discouraged by criticism. You probably already know what they’re going to say. Pay no mind to the fear of failure. It’s far more valuable than success. Take ownership, take chances, and have fun. And no matter what, don’t ever stop doing your thing.”

If you’ve seen this, then let me know if this works for you. For me? Yes, it does. It’s on my desktop screen – has been there since the day I saw it, but I didn’t have the name on this yet. 

I went into Google and came up with Asher Roth. Roth is a hip hop musician. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him (I just don’t listen to hip hop), but I had to look through the images, many of which were using his name.

I went back into Google and put in his name and ended up in Wikipaedia for a write up. Seems like he’s certainly well known. 

But none of that meant anything to me. What certainly did just mean anything was that quote up there. This prepared me for my QIRC decision.

“How long before you get QIRC court decisions?” I asked Google, and found this info on the QIRC website:

The Commission Member's Decision

A decision will only be handed down at the end of the hearing in cases that are clear cut.

The Commission will generally reserve its decision. This ensures full consideration of the matters presented by both parties and the production of a written decision. This can take a few days or weeks to complete, depending on the complexity of the issues.

Really? So mine, it seems, is not “clear cut”. But it sure didn’t get presented in “a few days or weeks”. I’m still waiting. It has been 10 months and 27 days (and a few hours, give or take). On the 14^th of this month it rolls over to the 11^th month and I’m expected to have a decision this month. In 19 days. By the end of the month. I can feel my mood shuffling around, going up, going down, causing me to get very… very… angry/upset/depressed/happy/not sleepy/sleepy and not even living in a “normal world”.

 
I went to QIRC just over a year after I had my surgery, not even a year after I got out of hospital, and I wasn’t “fully” recovered then. I appreciated how the Commissioner accepted some of the stuff I said when I couldn’t really get my brain around that. He seemed to be very good, but I didn’t hear from him. I wrote to his assistant. I found out, within a month, that I was asking a silly question. I was told 3 to 6 months.

I don’t need to repeat this because I’ve already written a blog about my frustration… not too long ago. I haven’t found anything in QIRC that has dragged this decision out for me. I am – apparently – not just waiting for my own decision, but there are/were people before me. I feel extremely frustrated for all the people after me who are probably waiting just like me.

So, how reasonable is 11 months or 12 months or longer?

I separated from my ex-husband in January 2013 – 3 years, 3 months and however many days I don’t remember, but I still don’t have my divorce. I had passed my Grad Dip in June 2013 but after I lost my job in September 2013 it’s been 2 years, 7 months and 6 days since I could use that degree – probably never again. When I was diagnosed with brain aneurysm I waited 293 days – 9 months and 19 days – for my surgery. That seemed far too long, but there was more. My stroke ended my “normal” life – it has taken 720 days – 1 year, 11 months and 19 days - to get me to where I am and where I’ll possibly always now be.

Sounds weird that I’m keeping days, months and years inside my head? Well hey, just have some thoughts for me – I don’t know what else to do. Except sometimes I swear, and you should fucking well let me!!

So, do I have to be patient? Are you patient? Does anything hold you up for, oh, let’s say - 10 months and 27 days? If any of you can answer affirm to this, I should take my hat off to you. Except I’m not even wearing one.

So, right now, before my decision – and I have no real idea when it will come – I am supporting the quote that was acknowledged to Asher Roth. Part of it:

“You probably already know what they’re going to say. Pay no mind to the fear of failure. It’s far more valuable than success.”

Yep, I can make a stupid promise. Sometimes.