Women have rights

"Woman gang-raped by Tinder date and his friends". This was an article in Sydney Morning Herald on 8 October. This was an horrendous event for a young New Zealand woman. She didn't ask for it. Why would she? Why was she drunk? Why did these dudes spike her over? 

I agreed with the police spokesperson comments at the disgusted action, and yet I was still quite mad at the police who said they "are warning online daters to be careful of meeting with strangers". I had to think about it again after Anne, today, added her comments to my share on Facebook. 

In my speech at the International Women's Liberation Summit this last Monday, I spoke some of the thoughts in my own language that Anne today put on my FB in her own language. I am a victim, with my own agreement with what she has said. Why is that? It's because we, women, should always be aware of what happens on the street, in a bar, in a stranger's place or a known person's place. Are we responsible for what happens? Does not doing that make us guilty? Hell no! NO woman is ever guilty of getting raped. NO woman is ever guilty of drinking herself into some sexual agreement with strangers. But... here's the crunch... NO woman should ever feel guilty if they have simply gone over stuff with their "modern" thoughts. 

Freedom? Here are Anne's comments. Read them and think hard about them.

Women have rights....they also have responsibilities.

We are constantly warned that the internet is rife with predators - it's the perfect place for them to hunt out the vulnerable & the uninformed. We are told to take precautions to ensure our own safety when meeting up with people we've connected with through dating sites etc. because of this fact. And yet so many women still naively/unwittingly enter into situations where they could be putting themselves in danger of becoming the victim of the next date-rape story on the news.

Why? Because we've been told we/women should be able to do what we like....go where we like....meet who we like, when ever we like? I agree with that.....EVERYONE, every single person should be able to walk freely on this earth without fear - BUT that's not the world we live in. Not the real world....that's a fantasy world, which doesn't exist.

The simple truth is....predators exist - they always have and they always will and it doesn't matter how much we demand our right to walk freely, they are not going to go away. They will remain, hidden in plain sight as they always have....waiting for their next bit of sweet meat.

We (as the women's movement) have done a great injustice to ourselves and continue to do it to the girls coming through - we push the right of freedom to be who we are...but we have not pushed hard enough to teach the responsibility that comes with that. The minute we start talking about women taking responsibility for their own risk management & safety....we are labeled victim-blamers.

As you mentioned in your ... talk the other day.....we wouldn't walk around a construction site without a hard hat on because past experience has proven that there is a possibility we may be injured - so we wear that hat....just in case. Risk management.

Why then, do we as women continue to blindly enter into situations where the risk of becoming the victim of a predator is a very real possibility (probably more so than being hit on the head by a lump of wood at a construction site!). It doesn't make sense does it? Most of us would probably think twice before swimming in a river where we know there might be crocodiles, or a beach where there could be sharks.

You know who gets attacked by crocodiles and sharks? People who think the rules don't apply to them or don't give a second thought to the possible danger they are going into....and a very few who are unaware of the possible danger.

And it's no different for women when we find ourselves in, or are about to enter unknown territory like meeting up with strangers for instance, which is happening more and more now.

Why, when there is so much historical evidence proving date rape is a very real possibility, are we still putting ourselves at risk??

Because......"Girl Power!!"....we've been misguided into believing that it's our right to do as we please, however we want, when ever we want, with whomever we want....and we should be able to do it safely while not taking responsibility for the part we play in any outcome from it.

I'm not blaming this young women for being gang-raped.....not for a nano second.....rape is never okay - EVER. It makes me sick to the stomach knowing she could have been me (years ago) or some other woman I know. No, she is a victim (now) not only of her rapists but also of the society we have created that doesn't instill the importance of personal responsibility in our right to our personal freedom.

We need to start getting real and start being honest with each other about what having "rights" truly entails....and more importantly we need to begin educating our young girls from a very early age in personal risk management. So that making informed decisions about their safety is first nature, not something they wish they had thought of after the fact.